Archive for April, 2011

Downfall

Posted in Uncategorized on April 13, 2011 by inretaliation

One thing is now clear: Sheen’s 15 minutes are over. Kaput. I don’t mean his 15 minutes of fame, of course, or even of infamy. I mean his 15 minutes of being a Rebel. For that, let’s make no mistake, is what this whole hellapalooza has been about: the prospect that Charlie Sheen, by saying whatever damn thing floats through his tiger blood and into his bizarrely semi-lucid crackpot brain and down to his hair-trigger mouth, could sort of, perhaps, just maybe be the Last Honest Man in a paralyzingly bogus media culture.

In the early stages of his madman meltdown phase, when he played the talk shows like a seasoned provocateur, or even on his public-access-style Webcasts, he created the sex-and-dope version of a Howard Beale mad-as-hell moment. He held out the prospect of danger, of saying the things that we aren’t allowed to say. And that, let’s be honest, became — at least to some of us — an addictive prospect, a slumming form of performance-art entertainment for an overly controlled, rule-bound, PR-driven, terminally politically correct, spin-cycle America. Which leads one to ask: What does a Howard Beale who has already had his mad-as-hell eruption do for an encore?

via Charlie Sheen at Radio City Music Hall: He’s not winning anymore. He’s losing, big time | Inside TV | EW.com.

I just want everyone to know that I was really rooting for him to pull this off.  I wanted at least one honestly arrogant, holier than thou, I can say and do what I want, slightly intelligent, celebrity out there.  I would not have begrudged him his women, his drugs, his bad behavior, his sheer craziness, if only he could continue to be honest with a small semblance of sanity.  Now he is ruining it, like a dying star he has exploded in a flash of light.  He is bound for ridicule and pity, now, bummer.

A civilized society is one which tolerates eccentricity to the point of doubtful sanity.
Robert Frost

Wild or Crazy

Posted in relationships with tags , , on April 6, 2011 by inretaliation

Please excuse the vulgarity for a moment,

Wild or Crazy

I am wild. I am not crazy. There is a difference.

The stupid can’t see the difference, the inhibited deny the difference, and the authorities just don’t give a fuck about the difference — but the difference is everything.

Wild or crazy. At the extremes of sex, drugs, and rock and roll — anything worth doing, really — you’ll find only these two flavors. They are the chocolate and vanilla of passion. The yin and yang of sin.

Wild explores. Crazy escapes.

Wild is beautiful. Crazy is broken.

Wild seeks enlightenment. Crazy seeks annihilation.

Know the difference. Be aware of the difference. Embrace wild, and send crazy packing.

Savor a savage fuck. Sample a heroic dose. Enjoy any raw and filthy moment of human vulnerability your heart desires, but always ask yourself: are you consciously seeking enlightenment or are you seeking to annihilate your consciousness?

If you don’t know the answer, get the fuck out of the room.

If you’re trying to escape, stop what you’re doing. Get help.

If you’re trying to explore, smile with your soul and take every inch of the experience as deeply as you possibly can.

And no matter what, don’t fucking judge — blowing a fat line of cocaine off a rock hard cock in a Vegas bathroom can be just as valid an exploration of consciousness as dropping acid in the desert with a tantric drum circle of naked hippies.

You don’t need to be burning incense for it to qualify as a religious experience.

You don’t even need a god.

All you need is a brain and a battle-cry:

Bitch, be wild. Don’t be crazy.

via Coke Talk – Wild or Crazy.

The line between the two is unimaginably thin, it’s hard to now when you have crossed it.

I have tipped into crazy a great many times.

Usually I guilt trip myself about it, and try to be more pure and normal for awhile.  Now I realize that’s just not me, I am a spaz, I am erratic, I have bad follow through, I act before I think, I talk before I know,  I am capricious, I like doing things that other people think are crazy.  I am emotional, and sometimes I am needy.  That last one is really hard for me.  Needy translates to weak in my book.  I am learning to ask for what I need and be really specific.  ugh I hate asking for help, but I am not superwoman.

Sometimes I think you need to be crazy for a little (hopefully a very little) bit in order to realize how you don’t want to be.  You know, experience it, so you can identify the difference.

And finally, maybe the difference is only made clear by how you process your actions.

It’s all about you baby, love who you are because it is all you really have, and it’s beautiful!  And for some weird reason more beautiful if you love it.