Love eternal?

heart-headphonesI have been married for five years now.  We have been together for ten years.  I recently had a friend ask me how I knew things were going to work between us.  I told her very bluntly that I didn’t… still don’t.  As a matter of fact my husband and I had just been through a series of brutal arguments, and it had crossed my mind several times that we wouldn’t work things out.  

I have recently discovered that our relationship is cyclical.  We have a pattern.  The entire cycle takes around four months to play itself out.  We get along wonderfully for awhile.  Then there is about a week of picking at each other in which both of our moods slowly deteriorate as does our patience.  Then the fighting begins in earnest.  Sometimes we can work our way up and out of it.  Like swimming towards the surface of a murky lake after an especially deep dive.  Other times we drown in our refusal to give way.  Then it is another week of cold shoulders and withdrawn love.  Finally one of us realizes that we don’t have to kill our relationship in order to stand on principle. I can see how easy it is to forget how to love this other person, to believe that we really mean these small things we say to each other.  To cycle forever downwards until there is no surface any more.  What is more important, that we fight for what we want or that we give for what we want?

2 Responses to “Love eternal?”

  1. Nicely said. I believe in forever. I don’t think every one gets to have it though. Staying in love is work. It’s waking up every day and trying to find something, no matter how small, that you can do to make your partner happy, make your relationship stronger. It’s remembering what you love about some one even when they’re making you crazy. I wish you luck!

  2. Very true. Thank you.

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