Archive for January, 2011

Obvious

Posted in Humboldt County with tags on January 30, 2011 by inretaliation

I was getting gas at Bear River Casino the other day,  (don’t judge, my parents live in Loleta) when I saw a curious sight.  A young bearded man in an army fatigue jacket was pushing an old toothless woman in a wheelchair down the hill.  They were talking and laughing obviously very pleased with themselves and life in general.  I couldn’t help but smile back at them.  My mind instantly made up their story.  Maybe he was her grandson and he was taking her for a walk, how wonderful that they took so much delight in each other even with their age difference.  How sweet of him to be so considerate of her.  It was a beautiful day for a walk.  Then I thought “don’t be so naive, they had obviously gone to the casino.”  They were obviously poor so maybe that wasn’t the smartest thing to spend money on but so what if granny wanted to spend her money on gambling, it was still generous of the young man to take her, and they had obviously had good luck.

About a week later I drove past them on the freeway on my way to Scotia.  They were right before the Main St. Fortuna exit.  My inner monologue was astonished at the distance the young man was willing to push his granny.  I guess they felt they should take advantage of the good weather.  Surely they didn’t make the trip in bad weather, and I had never seen them before.  As before both were smiling, granny was sitting crosslegged in her chair, they must have had good luck again.

Yesterday I was in the Safeway parking lot in Fortuna, when I saw the young man walking across the lot alone.  Hmmm he must have left granny at home.  Then I pulled up to the stop sign and there she was with a cardboard sign that said homeless please help.  oh

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Trivial

Posted in community, Humboldt County with tags , , , on January 13, 2011 by inretaliation

I have a black eye today.  I was having a really bad day yesterday, everything seemed to be going wrong.  I finally got home and we were out of water. arrrrrr!  So I went to change the filter, only the last time I changed the filter we did not have underground water lines.  I had no clue where the filter was anymore,  I was following all the lines I could see in the growing darkness, which meant clambering all over wet sloppy hills.  One deer trail decided to give out beneath me and I slid all the way down to the creek.  On the way down a branch slammed across my eyes.  I actually have one puffy eye and one black eye.  I gave up and walked back to the house to find that my husband had arrived.  I was instantly mad that he didn’t come and help me (I had told the kids where I was going).  Of course my lovely children had no idea where I was because they hadn’t paid any attention to me.  I asked where the hell the water filter was, and was mortified to find that it is on the side of the house DAMN!  I went to try to change it and couldn’t unscrew it. DAMN!  I was beginning to cry which just frustrates me more.  I really gave up and asked Rhett to please do it for me, DAMN!

I love having a black eye though, it somehow makes me feel tougher.  Maybe I got in a fight in a bar, or maybe I took up boxing.  Don’t believe it, I fell and then I cried about it. I am so glad yesterday is over.

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Admit It

Posted in community with tags on January 8, 2011 by inretaliation

I have been drawn to a certain type of person lately, or maybe more accurately I am drawn to a certain aspect of all people.  Some just cultivate it more than others.  I adore emotionally unstable capable people.  I want people near me who strive to be better people but fail, a lot,  who are strong enough to take a joke most of the time,  who like clean spaces but don’t always have a clean house, who are intelligent, but admit when they don’t know something.  These are the people who make me feel comfortable and real.  They don’t necessarily make me feel more normal, more like we are all weird, insecure, stupid, mean, jealous, angry, and judgmental. We all have to learn to overcome these things and we all screw up sometimes.

Don’t pretend to be perfect around me, I will get bored and walk away.  I am not always a good mother, I am a raging bitch to my husband, I like it when you can admit the same back to me.  Don’t try to give me what I want, I will not respect, or appreciate your inability to stand up for yourself.  Tell me my hair looks like shit, my shoes are ugly, that dress does not fit me right, I will love you for it. (these things need to be done without an air of judgment, or I will secretly hate you) I will treasure you when you admit your failings, while enjoying your strengths.  Don’t baby me, I may not be able to handle the truth right then but I will remember later, and I will cherish you for it.

Admit the real you, I bet it’s horribly good.

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