Archive for frustrated

Sell Out

Posted in pop culture with tags , , , , , , , , on March 15, 2011 by inretaliation

Selling out is a big deal in our household, you must have principles that are impervious to material things.  We admire artists that resist selling out, and our admiration deflates when someone we like does a car commercial (Acura, Andrew Bird, really?).

I am much more lenient on this than Rhett is.  Musicians can no longer depend on record sales, so it doesn’t bother me so much if they take advantage of their popularity.  Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeroes, kind of surprised me though, they seemed like such good anti-establishment hippies.

The Black Keys redeemed themselves a little bit by going on the Colbert Report and making fun of how badly they sold out.  If you are going to screw up, embrace it.

This girl though, she knows how to do it right.  Oh man, is she smooth, easing us into it bit by bit, making herself a brand name and an enigma all at once.  First there was Coke Talk, which was mediocre, then came Dear Coke Talk, where we really got to see her wit, charm, and intelligence.  Then there was Whore Talk, oooh the first inkling something was going on.  Now she is employed by the Daily with Dear Coquette.  This week she pulled off the coup de grace with her own collaborative jewelry line and an online boutique, where you can buy her limited edition pieces.  She is selling out with such style I can’t really tell if she is, or not.  Either that or she is fantastic at straddling some gray areas of my own ideals.

To cap off here is a hilarious video from a group that has yet to sell out. (I think)

Death Camp

Posted in home with tags , , , , , , , , on March 12, 2011 by inretaliation

I bet I have you feeling all warm and fuzzy inside already with that title.  I have been joking with Rhett the last couple of days about the death camp I am running here.

I had ducks and chickens shipped to me.  I have done this before and been successful.  Not this time, it has been 6 days and they are still dying.  I don’t get it, usually if they are going to die they do it within 24 hours, which most of them did, but we are still getting one dead fowl a day at least.  Let me put this in perspective for you, I ordered 26 chicks and 10 ducklings, we have 3 chickens left.  It has been a massacre in my house.  I wake up every three hours in the middle of the night to change their hot water bottle, they have fresh food and water, they have a lamp, they are next to the fire, they aren’t too hot because they snuggle the hot water bottle, I gave them a very little sugar in their water when they arrived.  Dead animals don’t usually bother me, but the ducklings were really cute and they would have been our first ones.

My daughter is having a sleepover tonight, when the parents brought her friend over, they ran over our dog.  He is dead.  They deserve to be defended, our dog is a pug puppy, he is little.  They were turning around so they were probably not even going a mile per hour, the dog leaped off the porch, (he just got big enough to do that) and ran under their tire. Dammit, that was dumb. I kinda liked that dog. I had to dig a grave, because Rhett is in town, then I had to let the girls say goodbye.  I love my girls, they cried for about 10 seconds, then ran off to play in the treehouse. (Maybe I should make them come down from there) Nobody should bring any vulnerable animals to my house for the foreseeable future. I am sad

Breaking Things

Posted in home with tags on March 4, 2011 by inretaliation

I have this weird little thing I do with my household items.  I cannot get rid of anything until it breaks, or is completely used up.  I will suffer years with things I abhor because I am just waiting for them to be useless.  I use these things more often than the stuff I like in the hopes of getting rid of them faster.  For example I have these three coffee cups that have very small chips in them but they still work fine.  I would love to go buy new coffee cups but I don’t have the room for both nice and ugly things.  I am waiting patiently for my daughter, (who just started doing dishes) to break these cups.  I happened to mention this to Rhett today, so he said “What, this one?”, and slammed (I mean dropped) the coffee cup into the cast iron sink.   uh, that wasn’t really what I meant.  He laughed, and I actually got upset.  I am sooo difficult, it turns out what I really want is the serendipity of something breaking by accident, and rejoicing.

To My Husband

Posted in relationships with tags , on March 2, 2011 by inretaliation

This is my open letter for the week.  Let me just warn you, if you read this you cannot get mad at me.  Most of the time my reaction to you is just that, reactionary.  Very little thought is put into what I say and I am usually being defensive about something that hurts me which I am uncomfortable revealing.  I am not purposefully hiding things from you, most of the time even I don’t know why I am really upset.  This letter is my sifting process.  In an effort to try and spare you every disparaging, irritated, condescending, angry, at the end of my rope feeling I come across this week I am going to write them in this letter.  If I find any that are both important and valid I will bring them up at a time when I feel I am calm enough to control my mouth.  A bad thought becomes bigger in my mind feeding my anger and frustration.  As soon as I write them down, I can feel them lose their steam, and become things that are not worth the time it takes to say them.

There is a website with the same name as the title of this post,  To My Husband.  Check it out its….good.


Posted in community, Humboldt County with tags , , , on January 13, 2011 by inretaliation

I have a black eye today.  I was having a really bad day yesterday, everything seemed to be going wrong.  I finally got home and we were out of water. arrrrrr!  So I went to change the filter, only the last time I changed the filter we did not have underground water lines.  I had no clue where the filter was anymore,  I was following all the lines I could see in the growing darkness, which meant clambering all over wet sloppy hills.  One deer trail decided to give out beneath me and I slid all the way down to the creek.  On the way down a branch slammed across my eyes.  I actually have one puffy eye and one black eye.  I gave up and walked back to the house to find that my husband had arrived.  I was instantly mad that he didn’t come and help me (I had told the kids where I was going).  Of course my lovely children had no idea where I was because they hadn’t paid any attention to me.  I asked where the hell the water filter was, and was mortified to find that it is on the side of the house DAMN!  I went to try to change it and couldn’t unscrew it. DAMN!  I was beginning to cry which just frustrates me more.  I really gave up and asked Rhett to please do it for me, DAMN!

I love having a black eye though, it somehow makes me feel tougher.  Maybe I got in a fight in a bar, or maybe I took up boxing.  Don’t believe it, I fell and then I cried about it. I am so glad yesterday is over.


Posted in politics with tags , , on December 3, 2010 by inretaliation

The depths that the human race can sink to surprises me on a daily basis.  Most of the time I push the rest of the world out of my mind.  I bury myself in the beauty of my day to day life.  Once in a while something catches my eye and scares the shit out of me.  I have two beautiful daughters, the thought that they could be at a high school dance and get gang raped while 20 people watch and do nothing, frightens me so much.  I  am so glad the girl in this story is standing up for herself and trying to get these boys punished.  All of that unfortunately is pretty commonplace, its those damn 20 bystanders that freak me out.  What the hell were they thinking?  Do they get put in jail too?  They should, its just as much their fault as it is the rapists.  Okay I know that isn’t exactly true but maybe they could have stopped at least one of the seven boys from having his way with a sixteen year old, on the grass outside stinking homecoming.  I have dreadful thoughts, like if you stood by while one of my girls was raped I would hunt you down and hurt you, so bad.  I understand that violence is not supposed to solve anything, and that two wrongs don’t make a right.  So maybe I would just take out billboard space and print their name and what they did (or didn’t do) on it so everyone would know what a worthless cowardly specimen they were. Ugh! I am sooo mad.

here is the full story


Old Enough

Posted in politics with tags , , on October 29, 2010 by inretaliation

This article is a perfect example of the kind of lawsuits that have tainted this country.  We collectively need to grow up and realize that sometimes shit happens, and you shouldn’t always make someone pay for it.  I am shaking my head in wonderment and shame right now.


4 year old able to be sued


Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on May 19, 2009 by inretaliation

I enjoy smoking.  I like the action, the fingers to the mouth, the deep inhale, and the long breath out.  I like the pause in the day, smoking-1the moment of nonthought.  I hate the smell and I don’t care for  the taste.  I am not a smoker, I can go days, weeks even without a cigarette.  I think this is a major drawback to quitting.  Why quit if it is not a problem, why give up something I have control over?  Maybe because it is proven to cause cancer and I have kids.  Maybe because I don’t want them to think that it is ok.  Maybe because my husband would love it if I did.  How about quitting for the improvement in my skin tone or the color of my teeth.  My energy level goes up when I don’t smoke.  But let me tell you the best reason why I don’t quit and the biggest reason why I should.  

The thought of a cigarette comes out of nowhere, usually while I am driving.  Then like the best meditator in the whole world the mantra repeats itself with increasing urgency until there is no other thought in my head.   Then I proceed to argue with myself until I pull into a gas station or find an excuse to visit someone I know who smokes.  

How do I change the chant or the clamoring in my brain?  How do I create a new mantra that boosts my will to drive past the smoke?  It scares me that I haven’t thought of one yet.  Why can’t any of those reasons listed above prove a stronger urgency?  Why don’t they win?