Archive for children

Death Camp

Posted in home with tags , , , , , , , , on March 12, 2011 by inretaliation

I bet I have you feeling all warm and fuzzy inside already with that title.  I have been joking with Rhett the last couple of days about the death camp I am running here.

I had ducks and chickens shipped to me.  I have done this before and been successful.  Not this time, it has been 6 days and they are still dying.  I don’t get it, usually if they are going to die they do it within 24 hours, which most of them did, but we are still getting one dead fowl a day at least.  Let me put this in perspective for you, I ordered 26 chicks and 10 ducklings, we have 3 chickens left.  It has been a massacre in my house.  I wake up every three hours in the middle of the night to change their hot water bottle, they have fresh food and water, they have a lamp, they are next to the fire, they aren’t too hot because they snuggle the hot water bottle, I gave them a very little sugar in their water when they arrived.  Dead animals don’t usually bother me, but the ducklings were really cute and they would have been our first ones.

My daughter is having a sleepover tonight, when the parents brought her friend over, they ran over our dog.  He is dead.  They deserve to be defended, our dog is a pug puppy, he is little.  They were turning around so they were probably not even going a mile per hour, the dog leaped off the porch, (he just got big enough to do that) and ran under their tire. Dammit, that was dumb. I kinda liked that dog. I had to dig a grave, because Rhett is in town, then I had to let the girls say goodbye.  I love my girls, they cried for about 10 seconds, then ran off to play in the treehouse. (Maybe I should make them come down from there) Nobody should bring any vulnerable animals to my house for the foreseeable future. I am sad

rape

Posted in politics with tags , , on December 3, 2010 by inretaliation

The depths that the human race can sink to surprises me on a daily basis.  Most of the time I push the rest of the world out of my mind.  I bury myself in the beauty of my day to day life.  Once in a while something catches my eye and scares the shit out of me.  I have two beautiful daughters, the thought that they could be at a high school dance and get gang raped while 20 people watch and do nothing, frightens me so much.  I  am so glad the girl in this story is standing up for herself and trying to get these boys punished.  All of that unfortunately is pretty commonplace, its those damn 20 bystanders that freak me out.  What the hell were they thinking?  Do they get put in jail too?  They should, its just as much their fault as it is the rapists.  Okay I know that isn’t exactly true but maybe they could have stopped at least one of the seven boys from having his way with a sixteen year old, on the grass outside stinking homecoming.  I have dreadful thoughts, like if you stood by while one of my girls was raped I would hunt you down and hurt you, so bad.  I understand that violence is not supposed to solve anything, and that two wrongs don’t make a right.  So maybe I would just take out billboard space and print their name and what they did (or didn’t do) on it so everyone would know what a worthless cowardly specimen they were. Ugh! I am sooo mad.

here is the full story

article.cgi?f=%2Fn%2Fa%2F2010%2F11%2F30%2Fstate%2Fn162359S57.DTL

a memory

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on November 30, 2010 by inretaliation

I slept with my girls last night.  Actually I slept curled around my oldest.  She has always fit me.  Rhett likes to sleep with Scarlet, but for me it’s Melanie.  On her first night I was a little nervous to be too close, so I gave her about 5 inches of space, and rested my hand on her exquisitely soft, unbelievable small, back.  When she woke up hungry with her soft little mewlings, (she has always been quiet) I was awkward.  I tried to sit up and hold her to my chest but I was sooo tired.  It was my doula who told me I could nurse lying down.  Again, at first I was awkward, I couldn’t figure out where to put my arm.  My breasts were gigantic and hard with milk, so I had to tip her delicate, little head up just slightly.  There was so much milk at first I thought I was going to drown her.  It didn’t help that once one was activated the other would go too.  I had to make Rhett get up, and find me a small towel.  Once I had my arm tucked under my own head and the towel draped over the unused breast I relaxed.  I brought my knees up to curl around her.  I was astounded by how well she fit.  Her soft little feet just touched my thighs while her tiny body pressed against every inch of my stomach and ribcage.  It felt as if we had melted together.  She was my own skin divided and come back to me.

Tangled Heart

Posted in relationships with tags , , , on November 27, 2010 by inretaliation

I took my girls to see the latest princess movie last night.  They loved it, they sat watching with rapt attention, sometimes with comments “I knew he was going to kiss her”.  Meanwhile I spent almost the entire movie cringing.  I used to love taking them to the movies.  It was such a treat watching them being amazed.

Princess fairy tales have caused nothing but grief in my relationships.  You believe in them because the brainwashing is consistent.  In every story the princess is in danger, her true love comes to save her, and they fall in love (quickly), happily ever after.  They are trying to make the princesses a little more self reliant these days, and in this one the hero is even a criminal.

Nobody lives happily ever after.  Every relationship takes work and dedication.  As women we need to stop expecting men to prove their love with grand gestures.  We need to stop expecting to be saved, and we need to stop trying to save.  We need to trust in ourselves to make ourselves happy.  I am not a feminist, at least not in the politically correct sense of the word.  I am merely trying to survive prince charming disease.  I think if we are genuinely happy with ourselves, we will be more genuinely happy in our relationships.

I want it to be easier for my girls.  I won’t stop taking them to the movies, in fact we are planning a trip to Disneyland next year.  I can’t let how I would like them to live their life get in the way of how they want to live their lives.  I might show them Kids when they are fourteen though.

Old Enough

Posted in politics with tags , , on October 29, 2010 by inretaliation

This article is a perfect example of the kind of lawsuits that have tainted this country.  We collectively need to grow up and realize that sometimes shit happens, and you shouldn’t always make someone pay for it.  I am shaking my head in wonderment and shame right now.

 

4 year old able to be sued

School Daze

Posted in community, Humboldt County, school with tags , , on March 20, 2009 by inretaliation

studyingSTAR testing is just around the corner for school children across California.  My oldest is in second grade so this year she will take the test for the first time.  I live in small town.  Their are only fourteen kids in my little girls class, and it is a multi grade classroom. K-3  Theoretically this would be great.  Can you imagine the one on one time?  Can you imagine it being a part of the older kids curriculum to teach the younger ones?  It seems like you retain information better when you have to teach it.  Unfortunately this teacher sucks.

Ok I am being dramatic she doesn’t suck.  She is mediocre, unimanginative, dislikes her job.  My girl has been with her for three years, and loves her.  I found out this winter that my girl is behind.  Her reading and math are at the first grade level.  The wierd thing about this was how I found out.  I did not get a bad report card (all E’s and plus’s), I did not receive a telephone call, I was not asked for a parent teacher conference.  I asked for harder work and was shown the work my girl was doing with the first graders.  I understand the logic, the more kids are on the same level the less levels you have to teach.  This teacher shows up for school after I do half of the time.  She misses more days then most of her class.  We are a necessary small school so no pink slips are coming our way.  She has tenure so each infraction must be documented in order to be evaluated.

I took my girl out of school one day a week for some extreme one on one time.  I have received many comments on how fast she is picking things up.  I have to drive two hours a day for school.  My success at home makes me want to take her out completely.  My girl cries at the thought.

Notes have been coming home about extra homework because of testing.  I was told to have her read the directions for her work herself as practice for testing.  I have been all year why haven’t you?  I don’t want it to bother me that she is behind but it does.  I don’t want anything to be hard for her.

I think I liked school better when I was the one who had to go.